Biopsy Results

August 11, 2009: My reaction to the diagnosis of end staged cancer was very business-like. I knew I had cancer, but it just didn't seem to alter my emotional status much. There was very little fear involved in my thinking. I had been receiving words of knowledge, or prophecies at church and from individuals who didn't know eachother repeating the same things to me. "God wants you to know Him as your Daddy. Rest in Him and be at peace. You will minister to many, many, many people." Two women told me that they saw Jesus wrap me into some kind of cloak. I was at peace.
Kim called Tuesday morning with the biopsy results. It was indeed invasive ductal carcinoma with metastisis to my lymph nodes. The tumor was Grade 3. The fastest growing category. I had expected that also. My right breast was negative. I asked about receptor status. She fumbled alittle, not expecting the question. "Is it 'triple-negative'?" I didn't know much about it, but I knew I did not want it to be triple-negative.
She explaned that triple-neg. was a buzz word of sorts, and that these tumors were usually not triple-neg. but that the part of the biopsy that tests receptor status was not done yet and would be ready in a week. I felt it was important for me to know these results so I could try to understand how I ended up with breast cancer. We have no history of it in our family. Where did it come from? I assumed it was because I had gained so much weight when I became diabetic, and that since fat produces estrogen, I had estrogen (receptor) positive cancer.. Our family has a strong history of diabetes.
I knew I didn't want to have triple-neg. breast cancer because there wasn't as much known about it and the treatment options consisted of chemo and surgery, then more chemo. It is notorious for coming back and metastisizing early on. Even though I thought in my head I had estrogen positive cancer, in my heart I feared triple-neg. Triple-negative just means the cancer has no estrogen, progesterone, or HER-2, receptor cells that feed the cancer. There are no targeted treatment drugs known to work against it. It is harder to treat and reoccurence is way higher.
While waiting for the rest of my results I began to grapple with the conventional medicine question. The Lord had been preparing me before my diagnosis to receive supernatural healing. Eric and I had been exposed to the teachings of Bill Johnson, Roland and Heidi Baker, Mahesh Chavda, and others who believe Jesus heals all who come to Him. We were excited about the life they proclaimed in Him. We wanted it and were so hungry. Many of the people who believe this teaching would also say to me, "Well, Jesus can use doctors, too." That would really grate on me. Of course I knew He could use doctors, but if you believe He heals everyone who comes to Him, then you must also believe that He never told anyone who came to Him, "Go see my buddy, Luke, over there. He's a doctor and he'll fix you up just fine." It was really all-or-nothing for me.